Sleeping in Retirement… No Matter What the Cost

“Wake up, wake up, wake up… sometimes I feel like I’m caught up in a Big Bang episode… Penny, Penny, Penny… you’re snoring.” The rest of this particular episode usually plays out like this –

Love-goddess: I can’t sleep because you’re snoring
Retiree: I don’t think I was, but if you say so
Love-goddess: I think you have sleep apnea
Retiree: I have none of the symptoms, so I’m quite certain that I don’t
Love-goddess: you need to go and get tested
Retiree: there is absolutely no need for me to go and get tested. My little bit of snoring has absolutely nothing to do with you not sleeping
Love-goddess: you’re probably right. This bed is too soft, I can’t sleep on it anymore
Retiree: if you say so
Love-goddess: it’s too soft. We definitely have to get a new bed… immediately
Retiree: can I go back to sleep now?

The retiree lays awake contemplating the situation and realizes that a new bed will have to be purchased, no matter what the cost… if only to ensure that he can get a good night sleep. The Love-goddess snores loudly beside him.

Does any of that sound like what goes on at your house? The short of it is as we age, it is more difficult for many of us to feel comfortable in the beds we’ve been using for a number of years and this prevents us from getting a good night sleep. As you age, sleep can become difficult to come by even under the best of circumstances, so bed comfort is ultra-important.

It’s Too Hard, It’s Too Soft

For years we have shared a king size bed that I have found to be quite comfortable. That said, I can sleep just about anywhere, so the Love-goddess proclaiming that she could no longer sleep properly on our current bed wasn’t met by me with scepticism, just with acceptance. Like many folks our age she has back issues now. Being a driven “Type A” personality type she has spent most of her adult life hunched over a computer typing away. Apparently, this is not great for the back. We have retrofitted her office with ergonomically sound equipment, but that is not doing anything for her sleep. I get it.

Too Many Blankets, Too Few… and Other Stuff

The other issue that arises for us as we age are changes to our preferred temperature ranges. It’s not unusual for one individual in a couple to be piled up with blankets as they sleep, while the second might just be covered with a sheet and a blanket. Sharing a bed generally means sharing blankets, and that may no longer work for some couples. We found ourselves in this situation. Again, not ideal.

One of the other drawbacks to continuing to sleep in a king size bed that presented itself recently, is how difficult it has become for us to make such a large bed. For me personally, a lot of that is related to having to fight the long battle against sepsis and a four-month hospital stay. Generally, the whole experience has left me weak as a kitten. It has become damn difficult to lift up the corner of a big mattress and tuck in the sheets… frustrating and a tad pathetic, I know.

And, the simple act of rotating the mattress or flipping it completely over has become an act that generally requires hiring an engineering team to move the thing. So, lots of reasons to abandon the king-size bed concept – some of which may even be heart attack inducing.

The European Method

While travelling throughout Europe we have never slept in a king size bed. I should qualify that by saying, we may have slept in something that “looked” like a king size bed, but in fact it wasn’t a single bed. Usually what you find in hotels are two twin beds pushed together, but with totally separate bedding. And often, with a totally different style of bedding than what we are used to in North America. My personal favourite approach is where hotels put on a bottom sheet, and the only thing they provide to go on top is a duvet, where the duvet cover functions as the top sheet. Comfy and easy.

The photo here is an example of the bed and bedding situation I am talking about. Additionally, it is also a good example of the types of cheap and cheery chain hotels we stay in if we are not using a family run boutique hotel in Europe. This gives you an idea of the configuration that we were looking for our new bed “renaissance”.

The Bed Search and Purchase

The actual search for new beds got divided up into two assignments. One, the Love-goddess went out in search of mattress stores and a mattress that she would be comfortable sleeping on. Two, I would go online and search out new adjustable bases, those being units offering remote controlled raising and lowering of the head and foot ends of the bed.

My “mattress” plan was simply to go in at the 11th hour and confirm that the comfort level of the Love-goddess’ selection would work for me and then order two twin XL mattresses. XL meaning extra-long, which is what you want if you are re-creating a king size bed with two twin beds.

My adjustable bed base plan was simply to go online, check out places that were selling them, develop a basic knowledge of how they worked and their important features, and do a bit of price comparison. This lasted all of about one hour. The Love-goddess’ search was a full court press for about two weeks. Once again, I am reminded that I am very happy not to have been born a “Type A” personality.

The net result of our searching led us to buy the mattresses from Sleep Country. I think the other mattress store that was under consideration had a sales representative that was doing a bit too much “Man-splaining” to the Love-goddess. The woman she bought from at Sleep Country was very helpful and not at all pushy.

Another good reason for the Love-goddess to have chosen Sleep Country as our mattress supplier was their “100-Night Comfort Guarantee” policy. When you buy a mattress from them you have 100 nights to use it, and if you are not happy with it, you can return it and exchange it for a different mattress. There is a small handling fee, and if the mattress you subsequently choose is more costly you have to pay the price difference. I mention this because we did exactly that. Ultimately, I found the mattress that we selected was too firm, so we exchanged it for one that was similar, but with a foam top.

After much research… The aforementioned one hour… I decided we would order the adjustable bases from that famous, recognizable bed retailer… Costco. Seriously. I discovered it is as difficult to compare these bed bases as it sometimes is to compare appliances. This is because it looks like the exact same beds are being offered by different companies with totally different product names. I might be wrong but that’s what it felt like. These are the units we ended up buying.

I probably bought from Costco for more intangible reasons. Number one, they have a great return policy. It is an “at any time”, no questions asked one. Secondly, the pricing appeared to be cheaper than other companies. And thirdly, the delivery service they offered at no additional cost was “white glove”. That meant that three gentlemen arrived with the beds, took them out of the boxes, assembled them, set them up inside our bedframe, and left with all the packaging. Easy Peezy.

You Need “Accoutrement”

Of course, if you are switching to a different bed size like we did, you need to upgrade everything that goes along with it; the mattress protector, the sheets, the blankets, and the covering or quilt. These are expenses that need to be figured into the project. Given that we did this during the pandemic, absolutely everything we bought to go along with the new beds was done online. The only thing we went to a store to buy were the mattresses.

Most of our purchasing was done through Amazon. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they offered many choices and rapid delivery. The duvets and duvet covers were ordered from Ikea. We need to return/replace the duvets themselves when the stores re-open because we have discovered that they are simply too hot for us, and we need to get some with much less down in them. If you are planning to switch to duvets, you should probably do this “in store” rather than online so you can get a better sense of the feel.

The only purchase that offered any concern and heart palpitations was the purchase of the sheets. Most of the things we ordered came within 24 or 48 hours. The sheets arrived on our doorstep four days after they were ordered… They had come from India.

Coming from India would not normally have posed any sort of problem, but all of the packaging seemed questionable. They were wrapped up in plain brown paper and tape. Any packaging that looks like something I might’ve done is suspect to my mind.

They were folded up inside one of those zip-up plastic bags that these things typically come in. The only documentation was a piece of thin white cardboard stuffed in with them that had an English product name, but no other identifying information. After I pulled the sheets out I looked for, and found, the attached product label which did identify them as being 100% organic Egyptian cotton sheets. They are incredibly comfy so probably the real deal… maybe.

Egyptian Cotton

My imagined sheet debacle was probably precipitated by my previous intense, investigative sheet research… Probably fifteen minutes that time. Apparently, all “Egyptian Cotton sheets” are not all “100% Long-Staple Egyptian Cotton”. Some using the 100% labelling perhaps only did so because a truck filled with Egyptian cotton had driven past the factory where their sheets were made. A large number of American retailers, Walmart and Target included, got sued in 2016 after it was discovered that the 100% Egyptian cotton sheet sets they were selling from the company Welspun India, in fact did not contain any, or precious little, Egyptian cotton. You can read about it in this Guardian article.

I probably could have written a full article about Egyptian cotton, but I am just not that interested and I’m sure you are even less so. If you would like to read a bit more information about Egyptian cotton from the Egyptian Cotton Association website you can do so at their website. The bottom line is if you are not paying several hundred dollars for the sheets, they are probably not really 100% Egyptian cotton sheets. As always, buyer beware.

The Cost

So, you’re probably wondering, how much will all of this cost if I choose to update our sleeping situation? Our upgrade cost almost $5000. Here is the list of everything we bought, broken down with individualized pricing including taxes and delivery.

Adjustable bed bases – $2,146.99
Mattresses – $1789.98
Mattress Upgrade – $291.50
Bedding – $588.56

Total – $4,817.03

Not grossly expensive, but not cheap either. Good luck with your search if you decide to do this.

The End Result

These three photos reveal the end result of our efforts. These first two photos show you how nicely the bed bases fit into a conventional king frame. As they advertise they will do. At least they did in our case. Even when you adjust the head or feet upward there is no interference with the frame. Additionally, the bases provide various levels of massage, if you’re into that sort of thing.

On my side of the bed, in the photo below, you can see a duvet… Filled with wool blankets for now… folded in half European style. On the Love-goddess’ side, she has opted for sheets and blankets at this point.

You will notice that my side of the bed appears to be a couple of inches higher. Although we have essentially identical mattresses mine has a foam pillow top. The height difference will not stay this way for long. One of the great things about these bases is the legs actually come so that they can be shortened in about two-inch increments. So, at some point we will strip off the mattresses and make the adjustment so that the beds are of equal height.

All in all we are very pleased with the end result.

Putting This All to Bed

There you go. A comprehensive look at switching your sleeping conditions in preparation for the next stage in life. I love referring to it as the final stage in life, but the Love-goddess is not terribly keen on that for some reason. Nor is she keen on me calling one of her book clubs, that the participants refer to as “the next chapter” (dealing with living one’s life at this point), as “the final chapter.” No sense of humour. 🙂

Stay well and sleep comfortably.