COVID Culling… Facebook Marketplace, Selling Stuff, and the Opiate of the Masses

Over the last number of years I have made several attempts to sell things on Kijiji, with only very limited success. So, I am not convinced that selling things online is a viable way of re-distributing all of ones treasured family heirlooms and artifacts… i.e. useless junk that you have laying around and want to get rid of, and pick up a few extra dollars in the process.

Previous efforts to sell antiques that the Love-goddess and I had accumulated over the years were all a complete and total bust. Nobody wants antiques anymore. My struggles to move the downsizing narrative along by getting rid of these once loved objects resulted in a lot of time and energy exhausted with almost zero sales.

The net result was that I ultimately loaded up all the stuff… It took several trips… and dropped them off at a thrift store operated by a local charity. They were thrilled to get the pieces, and I truly hope they were able to sell them and add some funds to the charity’s coffers. However, I suspect there is a good chance that many are still sitting there in the showroom collecting dust.

That’s not to say that there haven’t been successes… okay, there was one. During the Great Antique Purge of 2019 I managed to sell a stained-glass window that I had picked out of the garbage shortly after my undergraduate days ended, and have been schlepping around with me, generally unused, for decades. Cost $0.00, sale price $75.00, reward… priceless… not really.

The net, net result of these attempts was that I officially gave up on Kijiji, and assumed the only way to get rid of things was to take them to the dump. But then, hope sprung-a-new. A friend told me about a new way to unload one’s useless stuff… er, treasures. Facebook Marketplace.

My Online Vendor Renaissance… Thanks To a Friend

My friend Andrew, hereafter forever referred to as “Andrew-the-Wise”, filled me in on his experiences using Facebook Marketplace to both sell and buy, and what a winner he thought it was. He went to great links to tell me about his experiences, and to convince me of its merits.

One of his buying experiences was highly entertaining. As you have probably heard, a number of items have become very difficult to acquire in 2020 because they are selling out as quickly as stock becomes available. And, we are not talking about low cost items. One of the most heavily impacted categories has been fitness equipment. It started last spring when you could not buy a bicycle in our town for love nor money.

I say this with a bit of experience because we attempted to purchase a new treadmill several times. I suppose I should say, tried to find a treadmill to buy several times. We ultimately got one through Canadian Tire, but it was months after we started looking. Fitness equipment has become the “Opiate of the Masses”, and as hard to find and purchase as the proverbial hen’s teeth.

The experience Andrew-the-Wise related to me was around his attempts to track down and buy two small 10 lb hand weights for “The Workout Queen”. None were available in any of the retail or online outlets he checked out, so he started looking on Marketplace. He ultimately found some and arranged to meet a guy in a parking lot… LCBO of course… to complete the transaction. The guy selling the weights was charging way more than you would typically be able to buy them for new Pre-Covid. In my wild imagination the conversation that took place might have sounded a bit like this:

A-the-W: Have you got the stuff man?
The Dealer: Yeah, you got the cash?
A-the-W: I do, but what you’re asking for them seems extremely exorbitant.
The Dealer: Well that’s what I want, and I don’t negotiate.
A-the-W: Can I think about it for a day?
The Dealer: See the woman standing over there beside that other car. The one with the sunken eyes who’s hugging herself and shaking all over. She’s going to buy them if you don’t. I sold her a treadmill last week, and last month she bought a rowing machine… apparently, she NEEDS a new fix. Ha-ha-ha-ha! So, it’s take it or leave it buddy – make a decision.
A-the-W: $30 for two small weights is a lot of money, but “The Workout Queen” needs them desperately.
The Dealer: I know, everyone needs to exercise, that’s why I switched businesses and took up selling fitness equipment online.
A-the-W: What line of work were you in before?
The Dealer: I used to sell heroin and crack to school children, but this is way more profitable.
A-the-W: Interesting… I guess.
The Dealer: I may have an elliptical machine to sell this coming Friday if you’re interested… on sale for $5000. I’ll even throw in a couple bags of crack that I still have sitting around collecting dust.

There are a few kernels of truth hidden there in my little imagined conversation. Andrew did have to meet the guy in the parking lot and buy them out of his trunk, and they were very expensive relative to what he would have paid for a new pair… if he could have found them. His experiences selling things on Marketplace offered more appeal. Most of his sales, like kayaks, an outboard motor, and a hot-tub, were fast and furious.

Given that we are heading into the long, dark COVID-19 winter, we decided that our “plan” would be to use the extra time being cooped up to do a major culling. Although we had downsized into a much smaller house, most of what was in the old place came with us. We are long overdue to get rid of unneeded and unnecessary “stuff”. The plan involves attempting to sell a lot of it over the next few months, rather than just donate it to a thrift shop or take it to the dump.

I decided that I would begin the culling process by attempting to sell the one thing that wasn’t being used very much, was taking up a huge amount of space, and was a pretty substantial chunk of change tied up in something that we certainly could live without.

I chose to sell the pool table… on Facebook Marketplace.

Sell the Pool Table or Bust

I loved my pool table. I bought it new many years ago. I would prefer not to say in writing what I paid for it… just in case the Love-goddess decides to read this article… but it was a beautiful table, and worth every penny. Not only was it a great table to play on and socialize around, it was a spectacularly beautiful piece of furniture.

I concluded that attempting to sell the pool table on Facebook Marketplace would be a great test of the viability on the plan to sell all of our extraneous stuff efficiently and profitably. Knowing that it is very difficult to sell pool tables privately, I figured, if I could sell a pool table there, I would be able to sell virtually anything.

How Not To Sell a Pool Table

Before I launched my own effort, I decided to check out the competition. So, I looked at all the pool tables that were already listed for sale on Marketplace. One quick look let me know that most of the people trying to sell tables had absolutely no clue about how to market anything.

Here are a few samples of what I saw, and the thoughts that ran through my head when I looked at their pictures and efforts.

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My Official Pool Table Marketing Approach

The favourite aspect of my business career was always marketing. The wonderful art of convincing people that they could not possibly live without whatever it was you wanted them to fall in love with and buy. LOL!

I saw this as an opportunity to use some old, yet long dormant skills, to stimulate interest in my pool table. As you may have gathered from my just concluded diatribe about the poor use of photos, photos are very important in your sales message. You need to ensure that your product photos are enticing and make whatever it is you are selling as appealing as possible, to initiate a “want to buy” response as quickly as possible.

Attractive and interesting shots are essential. That’s why it is important to have effective lighting and lots of alternate views of your product. You want to elicit an emotional response to what it is you are flogging. When asked by the Love-goddess why I was spending so much time preparing to sell the pool table, I clarified what I was doing by stating, “I am not selling a pool table, I am selling a lifestyle.”  Needless to say, I spent a lot of time contemplating and setting up my photo shoot.

Here are three photos from my Facebook Marketplace listing. I will explain what I was trying to do in each. So that you know in advance, Marketplace allows you to use up to ten photos. I used the full ten because I wanted to show in great detail every bit of equipment that was included in the sale, and a copy of the original receipt showing how much I paid for it… “buy my table and you are getting a fabulous table, lots of extra accoutrements, and are paying a very good price”. Hmm… sure hope the Love-goddess doesn’t see the receipt. You might still be able to see my original ad by following this link. I suspect you already have to be a member of Facebook to see it, however.

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The Dramatic and Swift Conclusion

This all worked out beautifully. The day that I posted the ad I had five inquiries, including one that indicated they would be happy to pay an amount that was just within the range that I wanted to get for the table. That young couple drove out the following night from another city to look at the table, and after minimal negotiation, could not get the down payment into my hands quick enough. They had already arranged with a pool table moving company to pick up the table the following day and deliver it to their home.

They Interac-ed me the amount owing the next day just prior to the pool table company arriving at their home. The table got sold, picked up and delivered, and I was one seriously happy camper, all in just over 24 hours. I was honestly happy for the young couple who bought it. They were nice folks who clearly appreciated the aesthetics of the table, and ended up with a showpiece for their home for a very good price. It sounded like they had gotten stiffed one or two times in previous purchase attempts, so I was happy that this worked out for them. I knew my beautiful table would be well treated and appreciated.

That Went Well, But It’s Not All Sunshine and Light

My first attempt to sell something on Facebook Marketplace went extremely well. It could not of happened any better, really. But, a second attempt, as I knew it would be, was a much bigger challenge even though my asking price was only $345. I have been attempting to sell my mother’s collection of Royal Doulton Christmas plates. It is a 24-plate collection that spans… well, 24 years. I used to buy her one every Christmas, so I know how much they originally sold for; typically, in the $60-$80 range. You can do the math to figure out what I paid for them all.

If you go to any of the online sell-your-stuff sites like Kijiji, or eBay, these things are selling for $5 and $10 — except that it appears that they are not actually selling. Nobody wants this stuff anymore. I recently lowered the price to $95. I still don’t expect them to sell. I am about 99% certain by the time you read this, they will have been dropped off at our local thrift shop. Onwards and upwards! I am convinced that Facebook Marketplace will work for us… the Christmas plate debacle notwithstanding.

HOLD THE PRESSES! Just as I was about to post this article… I SOLD THE PLATES… IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!! 🙂 I am officially sold on Facebook Marketplace.

Now, does anyone need a stereo theatre system for their home TV?